Really?

Seriously?
I'm going to bed.

P.S- Fuck you.

Hi, My name is Jessica

Today is proof positive that I am in fact either a generally happy person or possibly crazy.
Humorously bad is the only way to describe my day today. So great that everyone else around me also happened to have a bad day and seeing me smiling away whilst learning about MY shit-fest day, turned their moods a bit brighter.
I dig making other people's day a bit better than it was to begin with.
Even if that is at expense of myself and my antics as Ambassador of the Challenged.

Here are the top 10 reason why I am convinced that today hates me.

1# I got 3 hours of sleep last night.

2# No coffee.

3# I had to ride the loser cruiser.

4# It started down pouring 20 feet after leaving my house this morning. So, I had to wait for the bus, on Grand, during a fucking monsoon, trying to use my tiny Japan umbrella. It was pointless.

5# After the bus ALMOST passed right by me, I sat down and started to access my massive water damage (goodbye dear ipod, favorite japan boots, breakfast Powerbar, and checkbook) however; when the bus lurched forward an entire waterfall of water cascaded down out of some mystery spot at the top of the bus directly onto me (knocking my glasses off) and the business dude sitting in front of me.
I laughed pretty hard and he got pretty pissed.

6# I got to work and I literally made a puddle just standing there. Every single inch of me was soaking wet. I wrung out my bra in the bathroom....
That is one place that I never really thought I would be topless but, Whatever I just got dressed and started working as usual. (Bonus points for today being the day I get the freak opportunity to meet the owner of my entire work for the first time. High five!)

#7 I saw a 80 year old woman... also in her bra. Oddly not my first time.

#8 I fell down the stairs.

#9 I was starving, had no food, and was forced to go to the grocery store after work. I hate the grocery store more than anyone has ever hated anything.

#10 I discovered that I may not get to go to Bryan's show at Berbatti's this week due to prior commitments and it is pretty much the only show I will ever get to see for the rest of my life at the rate I am going. Even worse that I have zero interest in my prior commitment.

Now, seeming that most everyone surrounding me for #1-10 was a complete asshole to me at all times, I am willing to entertain the idea that my amusement over today may be in fact because I am "crazy".
I may also agree that being crazy probably helps me out in a lot of very sucky situations.

A Happy Pompadour

Makes for a happy Jessica.
My costume is now complete and I believe that I have decided on this Happy Pompadour as my Halloween coiffure...

A lady is inclined to change her mind though.

Whoa Nellie

The decals turned out so much better than I could have ever dreamed. They lay almost flush with my crap and look so much like they actually came as part of it. Any inconsistencies that you see are just dust/lighting issues.
They are neurotically perfect.
I am beyond thrilled.
A biggin' for my caplet...


One for my raygun holster...



and my boots kick so much ass I don't even know what to say.


Who has space purpose now?
I sure as fuck do.

Why you ask?

Because I have started viewing everything differently and patterns make me feel happy and comfortable.

The vinyl touches

It was brought to my attention that I cannot just be out in space without a purpose. Insignias obviously provide you some purpose for doing whatever it is that you are doing. Without one, my costume is just some broad from the future's past out in space. With one, I become some broad from the future's past out in space on business.

Photoshop and I had to create something verily simple because this will be made into a thin, super shiny, black vinyl decal-esque sticker (with the white being transparent). I wanted it to be semi stereo typical so that you may feel like you have seen it somewhere before... yet haven't.
I will have one (about 4x4) on my clear vinyl caplet and then on the outside of both my boots (about 2x2).
If it blows, please holler at me now before the poor boy goes crazy on the $1,000,000 special vinyl decal creating robot machine.

Puke

If you ask me to turn you into a pretty pretty princess, one should expect that all of your status updates will look a little something like this...

It makes me ache with repulsion. It's fabulous.

Germs, Witchcraft, & Bear Punching... Oh My!

Today everyone's work week draws to a close and a fresh one starts for me. I spent the majority of this week infested with germs, sleeping, and (as usual) watching assloads of awesomely bad movies. I thought I would take this opportunity to present this weeks Hulu's Horribly Awesome Movie Awards....


The award for "Everybody hates me because I'm the fat ugly one" goes to....
The Spell.
A loose Carrie knock-off featuring over brushed hair, half-assed teenage angst, a super young Helen Hunt, and editing so poor you have no clue whats happening.
Yikes!

The winner of the "It's unbelievable that I didn't hate this fucking movie" is...
Trolls 2.

The "Sweet Satan, this movie just might kick ass" award is bestowed upon...
At the Earth's Core
Really bad props charm me (bonus points if shag carpet is involved).

Winner of the "Holy Shit, is that Tom Selleck?" award is...
Daughters of Satan
No one is going to argue a movie with a tagline like "A secret cult of lust-craved witches torturing with fire and desire."
That PLUS a pampered mustache equals awesome and you fucking know it.

The "Your husband is a total dick" winner clearly is
Terror in the Haunted House

This brings us finally to what currently stands as the Grand PooBah of the ALLLLLLL the worst movies yet created.
It purely exists to make me pee my pants.
Kudos for hilarious over dubbing, super-tarded storyline, weapable soundless editing, AND for punching a bear in the face...
Mr. "Arnold Strong" in Hercules in New York

Well done, Sirs.
Amazing.

Ever since I flipped

Both sides of the coin

On one hand, I made a sweet little clear vinyl caplet for my sweet little costume and finished up my helmet. On the flip side, Alpha and I sat on our asses for 7 straight hours and downed an entire season of Project Runway along with half the candy in Portland.

In honor of my worthy attempts at laziness, here is the first song I heard today.

Sharp Tiny Teeth

It was all Mercury Rev today.

Open up your chest for me and i will build a house

Tuesday's musical crush out as been brought to you by Man Man.

I may have been the last person on Earth to fall in love with them but, maybe they just saved the best for last...



They have many videos and these are my favorites. Plus, one cannot really go wrong with a song called 10lb. Moustache.

10:30 am