Haiku de jour

Today's Haiku

Natale Allegro, Sorella

Nomie's ( I mean Mr. Quick Jones) package offically mailed today. Let see how long it takes to get to Italia shall we?

Li manco così tanto giornalieri....

Changing what you call rage

Lightening bolt panties tell Monday to go fuck itself.

Street Puddle

Sweet Dreams

Les Bourgeois

The essence of Halloween.










355 days to go.....

Glutton

I updated my DVD master list tonight. It had been awhile and I'm loosing track of what is checked out and what is not. Ya'll are welcome to check some from the library. I will find a way to get them to you and from you.
Stroll over the master list of all 305 (So what,I'm a hermit...Whats it to you?):
2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY
28 DAYS LATER
8 WOMEN
9 SONGS
ADVENTURES BEYOND- WITCHES, GHOSTS, AND PHANTOMS
ADVENTURES OF BARRON MUNCHAUSEN
AEON FLUX
AFTER SCHOOL SPECIALS 1974-1976
AFTER SCHOOL SPECIALS 1976-1977
AKIRA
ALIEN DREAMTIME
ALTERED STATES
AMERICAN BEAUTY
AMERICAN PIMP
AMERICAN PSYCHO
AMITYVILLE HORROR- ORIGINAL
AMITYVILLE HORROR-NEW
ANCHOR MAN
ANIMATRIX
APOCALYPTO
APRIL FOOLS DAY
AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE VOL 1
AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE VOL 2
AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE VOL 3
ARMY OF DARKNESS
ASSIGNMENT OUTER SPACE
BARAKA
BARBARELLA
BEAST FROM THE HAUNTED CAVE
BEASTIE BOYS VIDEO ANTHOLOGY
BEING JOHN MALKOVICH
BELLYDANCE DIVAS
BETTY BOOP- 2 DISC COLLECTORS
BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE DOLLS
BILLY JACK
BJORK-GREATEST HITS
BLACK DALHIA
BLACKULA
BLUE VELVET
BOOGIE NIGHTS
BORAT
BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE
BRAIN CANDY
BRAINIAC
BRAZIL
BROKEDOWN PALACE
BROTHERHOOD OF THE WOLF
BROTHERS GRIMM
BROTHERS QUAY COLLECTION
BUFFALO 66
BUTTERFLY EFFECT
CABNET OF DR. CALIGARI, THE
CALIGULA
CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL
CANT STOP THE MUSIC
CASABLANCA
CELL, THE
CET AMOUR-LA
CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY
CHICAGO
CHILDREN OF MEN
CHRIS CUNNINGHAM VIDEOS
CITY OF LOST CHILDREN
CLOCKWORK ORANGE
COCAINE FIENDS
CORPSE BRIDE
CORVETTE SUMMER
COSMOS WAR OF THE PLANETS
COWBOY BEBOP THE MOVIE
CREEPSHOW
CROUCHING TIGER HIDDEN DRAGON
CULT CLASSICS-ATOMIC BRAIN, BRAIN THAT WOULDN’T DIE, CARNIVAL OF SOULS, NIGHT TIDE
CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER
DANCER IN THE DARK
DANGEROUS BEAUTY
DANGEROUS LEAISONS
DAWN OF THE DEAD (NEW)
DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL
DEMENTIA 13
DEVIL BAT
DOLLS
DONNIE DARKO
DONT LOOK IN THE BASEMENT
DOORS, THE
DRACULA
DRALION
DREAMERS
DROP DEAD GORGEOUS
EDWARD SCISSORHANDS
EERIE MIDNIGHT HORROR SHOW
ELEPHANT MAN
ELIZABETH
ERASERHEAD
ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND
EVANGELION DEATH AND REBIRTH
EVANGELION END OF EVANGELION
EVERYTHING IS ILLUMINATED
EXIT TO EDEN
EXORCIST-VERSION YOU’VE NEVER SEEN
FAHRENHEIT 9/11
FAST FOOD NATION
FAT ACTRESS SEASON 1
FLASH GORDON 1953-1954
FRIDAY THE 13TH FREDDY VS. JASON
FRIDAY THE 13TH JASON GOES TO HELL
FRIDAY THE 13TH JASON X
FRIDAY THE 13TH PARTS 1-8 ULTIMATE COLLECTORS BOX SET
FRITZ THE CAT
FROM HELL
GANGS OF NEW YORK
GATTECA
GHOST HUNTERS I
GHOST HUNTERS II
GHOST IN THE SHELL
GHOST IN THE SHELL II - INNOCENCE
GHOST STORIES
GHOSTS
GHOSTS & WHITCHES OF OLDE ENGLAND
GHOSTS OF ENGLAND AND BELGRAVE HALL
GIA
GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING
GODDESS WORKOUT
GOLEM
GORILLAZ DEMON DAYS LIVE
HAROLD & MAUDE
HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS
HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN
HARRY POTTER AND THE SORCERORS STONE
HARRY POTTER GOBLET OF FIRE
HAUNTINGS IN AMERICA
HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH
HE-MAN AND THE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE
HENRY & JUNE
HERO
HEROES SEASON I
HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES
HOUSE OF YES
HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL (NEW)
HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL (OLD)
HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME (SILENT)
I <3 HUCKABEES
IDLE HANDS
IMMORTAL BELOVED
INTERSTELLA 5555
JACK ASS II
JACOB'S LADDER
KANSAS CITY BOMBER
KIDS
KIDS IN THE HALL SEASON I
KILL BILL VOLUME I
KILL BILL VOLUME II
KILLER CLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE
KILLERS FROM SPACE
KING KONG
KING OF THE ZOMBIES
KISS METS THE PHANTOM OF THE PARK
KOYAANISQATSI
LADY IN THE WATER
LAIN
LAST UNICORN
L'AUBERGE ESPAGNOLE
LAWRENCE OF ARABIA
LEECHES
LES VAMPIRES
LIKE WATER FOR CHOCOLATE
LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE PREMIER MOVIE
LORD OF THE RINGS (CARTOON)
LORD OF THE RINGS : FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING EXTENDED EDITION
LORD OF THE RINGS : RETURN OF THE KING EXTENDED EDITION
LORD OF THE RINGS : TWO TOWERS EXTENDED EDITION
M
MAGNOLIA
MAN OF FIRE
MAN OF THE HOUSE (Eric's sister is in the movie)
MATRIX
MATRIX RELOADED
MATRIX REVOLUTIONS
METROPOLIS (FRITZ LANG)
MICHEL GONDRY VIDEOS
MIDSUMMERS NIGHT DREAM
MIRROR MASK
MONSTER HOUSE
MONSTURD
MOST EXREME ELIMINATION CHALLAGE SEASON I & 2
MOULIN ROUGE
MURIEL'S WEDDING
MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING
MYSTERIOUS CITYS OF GOLD
NAKED LUNCH
NAPOLEON DYNAMITE
NAQOYQATSI
NARNIA
NATURAL BORN KILLERS
NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD
NIGHTMARE CASTLE
NINJA SCROLL REASURRECTION
NOSFERATU
NOTORIOUS BETTY PAGE
ONE HOUR PHOTO
ONE NIGHT AT MCCOOL'S
OTHERS, THE
PARIS WAS A WOMAN
PASSION OF THE CHRIST
PERFECT BLUE
PETER GABRIEL :PLAY THE VIDEOS
PI
PILLOW BOOK
POINT BREAK
POWAQQATSI
PRESTIGE
PRIMER
PRINCESS MONONOKE
PULP FICTION-COLLECTOR'S EDITION
PUNCH DRUNK LOVE
PURPLE RAIN
QUARTERMASS
QUILLS
R2D2
RAISE THE RED LANTERN
RAVENOUS
REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES
RED VIOLIN
REEFER MADNESS
REFFER MADNESS- NEW
REN & STIMPY SEASON I
REQUIEM FOR A DREAM
RESERVOIR DOGS
REVENGE OF THE NERDS I,II,III,IV THE ATOMIC WEDGIE COLLECTION
RING
RINGU (JAPANESE)
ROCK AND ROLL HIGH SCHOOL
ROCK AND RULE
ROLLER BOOGIE
ROLLER DERBY MANIA
ROLLER GIRLS SEASON I
ROPE
SADDEST MUSIC IN THE WORLD
SAMURAI JACK
SCANNER DARKLY
SCHINDLERS LIST
SCIENCE OF SLEEP
SCI-FI TWO DISC COLLECTION
SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS
SHADOW OF A VAMPIRE
SHAWN OF THE DEAD
SIN CITY
SIXTH SENSE
SLEEPY HOLLOW
SNL: BEST OF CHRIS FARLEY
SNL: BEST OF WILL FARRELL
SNL: BEST OF ADAM SANDLER
SNL: BEST OF CHRIS KATAN
SNOW WHITE
SPAWN
SPAWN OF THE DEVIL: THE SCREAMING, HELLSPAWN, NIGHT CRAWLERS, LUKAS' CHILD
SPIDERMAN
SPIDERMAN 2
SPIKE JONZE COLLECTION
SPIRITED AWAY
SPOOKS RUN WILD
SPUN
STAR WARS CLONE WARS I
STAR WARS CLONE WARS II
STAR WARS TRILOGY
STARSKY & HUTCH
SUPERNATURAL-DOCUMENTING THE UNEXPLAINED
TABOO: THE BEGINNINGS OF EROTIC CINEMA
TAI BO BOOT CAMP (4 DISK)
TAI BO CARDO
TALADEGA NIGHTS
TEAM AMERICA
TENACIOUS D : THE COMPLETE MASTERWORKS
TENACIOUS D PICK OF DESTINY
TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (2004)
THANK GOD ITS FRIDAY
THIS IS NOT A TEST
THX 1138
TIDELAND
TOPPER RETURNS
TRAINSPOTTING
TRIPLETS OF BELLVILLE
UNEXPLAINED, THE
UNICO
UNKNOWN WORLD
V FOR VENDETTA
VALLEY GIRL
VAMPIRE HUNTER D
VAMPIROS LESBOS
VENTURE BROS. SEASON I
VELVET GOLDMINE
VENUS BEAUTY INSTITUTE
VERY BAD THINGS
VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT
VINTAGE EROTICA 1930'S
VIRGIN SUICIDES
VOYAGE TO THE PREHISTORIC PLANET
WAKING LIFE
WARNING FROM SPACE
WARRIORS
WASP WOMAN
WHAT DREAMS MAY COME
WITCHBOARD
WIZ
WIZARDS
X2
X-MEN
YOGA AND PILATES
ZOOLANDER
If you have any DVD of mine that I'm missing off the list, let me know so I can add them.

Now poop on them Oliver

We love it when he plays air sitar.

The Holiday Season

Oh Sweet Baby Satan, Halloween is so close I can taste it.


Hari Kari
And J.H. Christ

A deliciously horrid weekend building costumes and taking in the macabre performace of French classic theatre in the tune of Le Grand-Guignol featuring many of my dear loved ones as actors, directors, and writers.

"The Tragedies present Le Grand Guignol as a faithful take on the infamous, original French Theatre of Horror, with realistic special effects in the intimate setting of a deconsecrated church in Portland's popular Alberta District. Le Grand Guignol's formula for the horrific, the erotic, and the comic insists the stage will be haunted by sexy women, roaring with physical comedy, and dripping with blood!"

You love this fancy shit so go ahead...follow Monsieur Oscar Metenier down the hall to La Histoire de Theatre du Grand-Guignol. Tis' the season anyhow.

Qu'est que ce que j'ai fais le dernier weekend?

"I need you to make me a corset so I can be a pirate hooker," She says.
"ummmmm.....Jesezzy Chrizzy, Mom....Alright, Ill do it. But, I better get a top hat in trade."
It's a deal.
First I drafted up a seven panel, underbust, front closing pattern for The Mom. Cut that shit out of this total shit...


Sew them up.

(No, Really...It takes forever. The nature of the fabric is counter productive. It works against itself. You have to hand sew before sewing. It's like having to wash your dishes before using the dishwasher. Fucking asinine.)

I gathered tools of the metal cutter, hammer, grommets, boning, pliers, Ipod, towel variety.


One virgin to Satan later and....

One weekend, one corset, one happy Mom. Since I am playing the role of my Mother in the final picture, the corset is too large for me. Not tight on me in the slightest since she is of larger proportion. When fitted proper, it will have no wrinkles and crap. Generally look nicer being on the body it was patterned for.

In case you think of me as lazy...
I also redecorated and organized my office, made rootbeer (see below), went to the Japanese Garden (see below), went grocery shopping for the first time in darn near four months, caught up the laundry, made some photos for some people, worked on my Halloween costume, and went to the fabric store twice (that was my own penitence though- I have a tendency to run on the retarded side).

A moment for you.

Unwind a bit won't you?

Can't sleep?

How about try making rootbeer at home?

Hunt & gather some stuff.



Dissolve 1/8 tbs. yeast in some warm soothing water.

Add that shit to an empty gallon jug with a little more water...

Add 2 1/2 cups of sweetness to your jug o' yeast water


Because sweet yeast soda would taste a lot like shit- add your essence de jour. In this case we have a melange of sasperilla, birch, and vanilla. You need to have 1 Tbs. then add that 1 Tbs. to your gallon jug.

Cap it and shake it proper.


Take two 2 liter bottles from your recycling (or random 68 oz. jugs) and split your rootbeer mix evenly between the two containers. Finish off by filling each bottle with water until its about 1.5 - 2 inches from the top. Don't be a cheap-ass with the water either.

Cap it and shake it proper.

Sit there and stare at it for 4 days. On the forth day- check the scene. You can tell by the firmness of the two liter bottle how carbonated the soda is. If it's firm, drink it. If it's not feeling firm enough for you liking....No matter. Put it in the fridge at this point anyway. You can recap it tightly and it will continue to gain carbonation. Give it a few days and keep sampling. Unfortunately, it walks a very fine line between almost there and crap. Hopefully it will be pretty refreshing.
Who doesn't love refreshment?

And for my closing argument...

The photo of the day.
The quote of the week.

"You know he truly loves you when he doesn't pull his dick out
immediately after your done fucking".

Todays Pinhole

The notecards

Stashed in my pockets
When no one is watching me
I work it all out

Down with the Sickness

I have been ill lately so as a result the doins' and whatnots' have been less than exiting. Its hard to me to rest and do nothing. When forced to do so due to illness, I tend to be plagued with depression of "what could have been done".

I have begun a pirate-esque corset for my mom as part of her Halloween costume and have also started working on my costume. I'm having fun with it even though at this time I have no killer Halloween plans.

I turned my contact lens case from something so horrid & gross that I almost liked it....


Into something that is much more fun and appropriate to hang out in my bag.

That was a few minute good time with some plastic sealant and the wrapper to a particularly delicious Japanese snack lovingly bestowed upon me at the Melvins.

I have also been studying up on Japan and beginning to learn the language. Travel to Japan will commence next June. I am overly exited about this as you soon will see and I will wallow obscenely in the glory of the journey. It would not be false to say that this will be a fulfillment of a life long desire. I have wanted to see Japan since I was young. I used to cut out photos of the country from National Geographic when I was a kid and paste them to my walls. There will be many post on this to come, I'm sure. Stay tuned.

The latest pinhole camera is made from a Dragonfly Wafer Stick container. Coconut flavor- to be specific.

This sweet mama has produced the best picture to date, Bien Sur.

I know, I agree..Photography really is witchcraft.
Bonus Photo from out the window at work. This one was from the ol' oatmealcam.

On the horizon comes a few projects. For the first time since its purchased the Elmo Super 8 camera will be used as a contrabution to a video music short for Rust.

I'm looking forward to seeing the products of that. I ordered some black and white super 8 film around a year ago and there it is still sitting....waiting.
I guess the Elmo and I were waiting for just the right occasion.
The video footage will be blended with some stop motion to bring the awesomeness to a level 11.

Gathering of the Minds

If anyone knows locations of Photobooths here in Portland or anywhere in Oregon for that matter...please let me know. Im on a mission. I know of the one at the roller rink obviously and also at Red Light. If you see one...holler.

Two Miracles

Not much to report lately since I've just been working diligently to get this dress finally d-o-n-e.

Very exiting to report that last night the dress is complete. We shall cross our finger that the final fitting did the trick. Now I can move forward with other projects like my EL wire corset, more photos, and a sprinkle of silk screening.

The other miracle is the photo that I shot at work turned out. This was in direct sunlight out a window for 33 minutes exactly. Im planning to do another run at work on a day that I will have more time to develope. Next time I am going to shorten the time to 25 minutes.

Interesting

Through my various pinhole attempts (its all about experimenting), I have not got much to show for it except a sink full of white and black pieces of paper.

However, I at least every once and awhile get something that at least looks interesting. Ill post those too when they arise.

Camera Obscura

My latest project was building a pinhole camera out of shit in my house and take some awesome photos. I bought all the supplies a couple of months ago (chemicals and RC paper) then never got around to it until the thieves stole my camera. I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to get in touch with the roots of photography while I wait for my new camera to arrive like a well behaved squirrel.

I built my first camera out of a bread crumb container and a beer can.

Go learn for a moment...

I set up a mini dark room in the basement.
My first two attempts were blank. Alas, the paper hinting for the need of a longer exposure time.

Today for Pinhole Test Run #3, I placed the camera outside for one hour.

Self high five because this shit worked finally.

I also took the opportunity while this photo was brewing to construct two more cameras for tomorrows pre-Melvins photo experiment time.

The larger one on the left is from coffee can and the one on the right is an Altoid tin. I plan to use the tin as a portable means of capturing one specific moment. Maybe if I am close to the stage tomorrow night, We'll see what happens.

Artist formerly known as Plusiotis

Special delivery in the mail today.
The PLUSIOTIS/CHRYSINA BEYERI

Papilio protenor euprotenor

It was pointed out that I receive a lot of odd things in the mail. I dabble in a lot of stuff. Thus resulting in some interesting packages awaiting me after work. This week alone I got a Crystal Gayle t-shirt, cookie cutters shaped like a rocket and panties, Alfred Hitchcock's Rope, and this....
From China,

All snuggled up tight,

The Papilio protenor euprotenor.

If you would like to reconstitute your butterflies you snip the corners off of the velum. Place them in a airtight container with a moist paper towel. Let them be there for a day or so. This will make them pliable enough to work with for any of your random bug projects.
Beetles are on the way.
Rope is one of my favorite movies ever. Its almost one entire shot through the entire film. I have found two.

Now, its time to go check the pinhole test run #2.
Fingers crossed.

Titter

This weekend was all a titter of busy work while I battled a haunting headache. I am working simultaneously on two projects. Both with detailed posts to come. One is a dress for a friend. Ive never really made a dress before. Theoretically, it should be much easier than corests. I will not be doing this again soon. She is worth it but, I'm too much of a perfectionist.

To ease the pain of silky fabrics AND since the burglers took away my future camera, i'm going old school with the homemade pin hole camera. This is crazy fun witchcraft. I am so far enjoying it tremendously.
I learned that I am more adept at working in complete darkness than one would have thought.
Test run #1 tonight was not exposed enough.
We shall see what tomorrows attempts bring.

For now, and ode to the busy work of this weekend.

I couldn't believe it myself. A "Get R Done" airbrush cowboy truck tailgate montage.
Even worse that this was on Hawethorne.
I guess if your going to be an asshole, you might as well do it right.

Things we learned this weekend:
Touching developer is irritating.
Blueberry PopTarts are superior above all other flavors.
Watch parts are more expensive that I had thought.
How to iron something properly,
and that Native American-ly speaking, the dragonfly totem symbolizes the fruition of works after a cycle of two years in change.
(I found one perfectly dead next to my car)

Dear Asshole, Thanks for fucking me

My birthday week was pretty good. I went to dinner, had some quite time, and then had the greatest evening seeing Band of Horses and Dinosaur Jr. play at the Ballroom.

The cherry on the top was A: having to get up from the warm snuggles after only sleeping for 3 hours and B: getting to my car to find out that burglers totally fucked me.

Behold the glory of thievery. They made off with my 1300$ Dell laptop (damn close to new), my web cam, my ipod, my contact lenses, my grass, my checkbook, my entire bag with my medication (including birth control you evil mother fuckers), and worst of all my camera. For being a chic, Im not overly possessed by my posessions however; they happen to take the things that link me to more creative things. Taking my camera is really the equivilent of stealing my child. P.S. breaking the window into thousands of peices is total crap.

All my photos are gone forever. No pictures of Italy, none of my artwork, no movies that were in progress for ya'lls entertainment.

Alors~ Damage contol is well underway. Checking account cancelled, med's being refilled, computers being shopped around for, window is being fixed on Monday.

All will come full circle in the end.

So this years birthday lesson is:
A: dont hide your laptop so well in your car even you forget that it is there.

B: backup all your electronic creative projects.

C: people are evil.

Ca Plane Pour Moi

This weekend kicked off the Horror Movie Halloween Countdown Spectacular.
My roomies and I enjoy nothing more than craptastic blood filled flics. We logged so many over the years that its hard to keep track. My horror movie collection is approximately 1/4 of my entire DVD library. I love them with a passion.
This weekend I saw the new Halloween Rob Zombie Remix. It was pretty good actually. Not so "Rob Zombie" as his other films however, this new Jamie Lee Curtis impersonator is not nearly as cunning and lacks the sense of control portrayed by the original Laurie. There were also a few small changes. Nothing that spurs a freakout.
After the new Halloween we immediately watched the original Halloween. You, I, and everyone else- All love P.J. Soles.

Its the house favorite and a classic that launches us every season. This year I will keep a list- Just for S's & G's.
Horror Log #666:
Halloween 2007
Halloween - original
Dolls
Sweeney Todd- The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
The Eerie Midnight Horror Show
It's pretty much porn. I did not know that. The Universe is good to me.
Currently viewing Phantasm.
Not a bad starting line up this season.
What to be for Halloween this year though?
Hummmm....I'll have to sleep on that.
Here, You sleep on this...